My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
