I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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