i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
