Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
