Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
