I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize