I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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