I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
