I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
