He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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