I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
