Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
