I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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