I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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