Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
