I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize