well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
