So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize