Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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