It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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