Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
