if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize