Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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