i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
