You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
