these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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