I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
