Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
