He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
