i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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