what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
