He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
