i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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