so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
