I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
