The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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