she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
