Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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