nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
