yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
