on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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