I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
