In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
