if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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