Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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