Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
