dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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