have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize