I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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