Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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