I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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