my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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