maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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