I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
