Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I supernannyed him into submission
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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