He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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