i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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