I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
