it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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