is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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