you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
