there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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