I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Quick, to the slutcave!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
