I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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